PARKLAND, Wash. — Talk about having a crappy night. A man was not only busted for drunken driving, but also found himself covered in dog poop while trying to hide from police.
The ordeal began just after 11 p.m. Saturday when a man called 911 to report a car was running red lights, driving erratically and nearly hit several cars near the Brookdale area.
About eight minutes later, a woman called 911 to report someone had driven through their gate onto their 20 acre field on 52nd Avenue East, and that her husband used their tractor to block the car in.
The driver had run from the car, but by the time deputies arrived, the driver was back inside the front seat — passed out, and covered in poop.
The deputy described the scene in his police report: “As I approached the vehicle, I immediately smelled a very strong odor of feces, strong enough to overwhelm any other smell. I saw that there was feces smeared all along the drivers side and on the drivers door handle. When I contacted the driver I noticed that he had feces all over his hands and clothing. I also noticed that the smell of feces got stronger and I nearly vomited several times”.
The deputies managed to awake the driver, who admitted he had been drinking “a lot” — multiple shots of tequila, police said. But he didn’t know why he was covered in poop. The deputies, mindful of their suspect’s rather stinky situation, decided not to do a field sobriety test, but called firefighters from Central Pierce Fire & Rescue to check on the man and put him in a protective Hazmat-type suit. As that was happening, deputies talked to the homeowner who said after the man crashed his car on their farm, he ran out, jumped over a fence, and tried to hide in a large container.
“Turns out these (homeowners) are dog breeders and that’s where they kept their dog poop,” said Det. Ed Troyer with the Pierce County Sheriff’s Department. “So he jumped into it, covered himself completely in that before we were able to get him into custody.”
The owners had at least 15 kennels and the container stored all the poop, deputies said.
The homeowner yelled to the driver that he better get back in his car or he would “be in a world of s***” — as if he wasn’t already. The driver climbed out of the container, went back to his car, gave the homeowner the keys, then passed out in the car when police arrived.
“Now we’ve got an additional problem because obviously he needs to go to jail and nobody wants to take him in,” Troyer said. “That’s when we called in some rookies to come in and take care of that kind of business.”
The 25-year-old suspect was cleaned up and eventually booked for investigation of driving under the influence.
Meanwhile, the deputy’s patrol car was taken out of service for a major biohazard cleaning.